Jude 22-23 Recovering from Spiritual Abuse: Rescue those who are trapped!
22 And have mercy on some, who are doubting; 23 save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh.
Verses 22-23 of the letter of Jude speak of three different approaches toward those who are still in the grips of a false teacher. There are opportunities galore for those who wish to care for brothers and sisters in Christ who have been wounded by a false teacher in his or her abusive ministry. Perhaps as you progress through a process of healing from such an experience, the Lord would have you get involved in the great work of caring for His wounded children!
Not all members of abusive groups are the same, just as all the members of any dysfunctional group do not play the same roles. Here, Jude addresses the work of ministry to three unique types of members of abusive churches. With great caution and wisdom, we can extend ourselves to care for those who are unsteady, unsaved, and unrepentant.
1. We are to have compassionate regard for those who struggle with doubts.
And have mercy on some, who are doubting…
The dictionary defines doubt as “uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with decision-making…” or, “…a deliberate suspension of judgment…” This is a good description of the kind of doubt that often plagues those who belong to abusive ministries. In those ministries, doubt is NOT tolerated, and is therefore often hidden behind some very overt, showy behavior designed to impress upon the leaders just how committed the (secret) doubter really is! This approach causes the person to assume a type of default hypocrisy, where he/she acts or speaks in a way that is not consistent with belief. The deeper, more sinister effect of this is that a person begins to doubt that they themselves are capable of discerning truth, ever! The result is a type of emotional paralysis, in which a member of a church suspects something’s wrong, and that something goes against what they believe to be true, but since they no longer believe in their own ability to know what is true—they do nothing but try to “just get along with the group.” We are to have mercy on such people. Having mercy on such a person may just mean that I need to listen to them, draw them out, and provide a “safe-haven” of friendship for them, and avoid my desires to point out to them the error of their ways, their church, or their pastor. I am to seek to win them, not an argument about their church! You must understand, these folks have become experts at hiding their true feelings–even from themselves! Oftentimes, friendship is the most powerful tool used by God to win a person out of an abusive cult.
2. We are to confront those who are heading toward judgment.
…save others, snatching them out of the fire…
Paul wrote to Timothy that he was to gently correct those who had erred in the faith that “perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.”(2 Tim. 2:25-26). There’s no dancing around the issue: in the Bible the word flame is used to speak graphically and dramatically of judgment. When I left an abusive ministry, it soon became very clear to me that not only had I been victimized, I had become a victimizer in many ways, and needed to repent of my own sins. Before the judgment seat of Christ, I certainly would have found shame and consternation, had I not faced my own sins committed while supporting an abusive ministry. I’m not addressing the “how-do-you-know-you-were-really-saved” issue, and neither does Jude in this verse. I don’t know everyone’s circumstance, and so only speak for myself, but by the grace of God working on the prayers of loving friends and family, however, I was snatched out of the situation. No one forced me and Sharon to leave, we just drove away, but as I look back on that day I think the friendship and loving confrontation of others provided fuel for our exodus, just as much as the gasoline in our Toyota!
3. We are to maintain a cautious compassion for those who are still in sin.
…and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh.
We are to approach our friend who is embroiled in an abusive ministry with love and respect, all the while hating the atmosphere he/she lives in—whatever it is. Immorality, false asceticism, abuse, addiction, self-righteousness, whatever the lifestyle, we are to be very, very cautious as we minister to those who hurt, and who have been caught up in sin—in the same way a doctor must be very vigilant so as to not contract the very disease from his patient that he is trying to heal. The garment that Jude speaks of is the soft, often seamless garment that was worn under the cloak. This garment was worn closest to the body. While you must love the person that you are helping out, you must see their sins (not them!) as filthy, disease-ridden clothing that will certainly be burned up in judgment. If the victim is a Christian, you can be confident that the Holy Spirit is at work in their life–your kindness and emotional protection will go a lot further to help them recover from an abusive church than a rapid-fire barrage of truth and perspective. Come to think of it, that’s the kind of stuff that pulled me into an abusive church…!!!
Again, too long an entry for this format—there’s so much more to say, but thanks for visiting! Blessings,
Ken
